Losing my dad

My dad died in his sleep late last night after a long struggle with cancer.  I’ve been looking for songs to post, but none seem to fit well enough, so I’m just going to scatter shot with a short explanation of each.

 

More for the lines the father speaks, “just relax take it easy”, “find a girl, settle down/if you want you can marry”, “look at me, i am old, but I am happy”.  I just heard this song last week on my ipod, the cover version by Johnny Cash and Fiona Apple.  I nearly lost it then and I can barely hold it together now.

This song was everywhere on the TV and radio when my grandmother died.  Even 25 years later, though it’s a beautiful song, it’s very hard for me to listen to it.

I’ve posted this song more than any other.  Every time my dad a significant event happen in his battle with various cancers, this song seemed the most apt.  This is actually the first time I’ve heard this live version, but the lyrics still strike such a chord with me.

The last time I visited my dad, he was pretty much in bed all day.  I went there to have one more good day (to paraphrase John Green).  We watched the original series when i was a kid.  Still, when he got up for about 30 minutes to eat, we put on the original pilot (before Shatner’s involvement, before this intro).  He was present enough and knew what was happening that he made a joke about how bad the alien costumes were.  That sort of moment was exactly what I wanted from my visit with him and I’m glad that that is pretty much my last memory of him, apart from saying goodbye at the end of my visit.

Dad, Pop, Papa…Live Long and Prosper, May the Force Be with You, where ever you are Goodbye.  You gave me science fiction and a sense of wanting to make the world a better place.  For both of those things, I am eternally grateful.

 

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One thought on “Losing my dad

  1. Ben, what a beautiful tribute to your dad. And what great memories of him. I so sorry he isn’t here with us any more. I am so glad I got to see him a couple of weeks ago. He always gave the best hugs and always said “I love you”. I have one cute memory of you, one Christmas you wanted a scooter and when your mom and dad didn’t respond you just told them “I’ll ask Uncle Bob, he’ll get it for me” We searched high and low until we finally found one for you. It was so much fun. Love you and send you lots of hugs. Always hold your memories close to your heart. Auntie Sue

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